What a day...

Thursday, that is. Whew!

First of all... I received a very auspicious email, although I haven't received any "offical" emails/letters yet, so I will wait to do an official "happy dance," only because I might be a little superstitious and don't want to jinx anything! Ha ha.

Except... I've told just about everyone and their mothers. It was a little hard to hide it from my housemates, because I shrieked like a little girl and have had a huge grin on my face since then. Other than that, I'm completely professional. Really.

Also-- Hi Mrs. H!! Of course I remember you! Mrs. H was my Sophomore Honors English teacher in high school, and I just received a comment on this blog from her :-)

begin:flashback/

I have to say-- the reason that I enjoy writing (papers or otherwise) is mostly because of Mrs. H. Not to sound corny or anything. After a fairly horrendous freshman honors English/History combined- class guinea pig experience (the teacher of which will remain unnamed) I thought that I wanted to become a computer engineer. Seriously. I even went to computer camp one summer and learned HTML and QBasic.

I had decided that I hated reading novels (even though I was, and continue to be, addicted to a good story) and that "interpreting" them was stupid. Writing about them was even worse, because it seemed like you could just make anything up-- as long as the teacher thought that it sounded good.

Then came Sophomore Honors. I had heard horror stories about how difficult the writing would be, and was pretty scared of how much I'd have to read.

But the class was different from Freshman Honors! Instead of reading long, dry "classics" and memorizing mundane facts about the authors' lives (ahem. DICKENS. ahem, ahem.), we read a variety of novels, plays, and poetry. First up was "The Great Gatsby," and we learned about colors and symbolism and the historical facts that made the story relevant.

We read "Grapes of Wrath," which is probably the book that sticks most in my memory from high school. Part of why I found it so interesting was because my dad was living at the time outside of San Francisco (near where Steinbeck based "Tortilla Flat" and "Cannery Row"-- which led me to read those books also) and I could actually go see some of the places he described in the books, as well as the Steinbeck Museum.

But I especially remember the project we did along with the book. My first photo project!

We had to photograph representations of poverty. I remember joking with my classmates about how, in our homogenous upper-middle class town, everyone would turn in a picture of the one homeless person that always sat outside of Starbucks. That picture was quickly listed as one that would get you zero points on the assignment, and we had to think of more creative representations of poverty.

I used a disposable camera to do the project while I was visiting my dad in San Francisco. I remember having a lot of fun, getting to take pictures of whatever I wanted (as long as it represented poverty in some way). I still have that project, along with all of my other photo albums at home. :-)

Writing about the themes we read in "The Grapes of Wrath" was much easier and much more interesting when we had a concrete way to relate it to our own surroundings.

Mrs. H is also the one that recommended one of my favorite authors to me: Isabel Allende (the book was "Daughter of Fortune"), which I credit in part for my fascination with Latin America (the other credit goes to my Spanish teacher Junior and Senior year-- hi Sra! and the fact that I have yet to have a "Spanish Literature" class in the classic sense of the term. Maybe I should change that and take one this summer?)

We also read "The Crucible," "Catcher in the Rye" and "Lord of the Flies" that year-- all very memorable books. They've since changed the curriculum, and I don't know what books are included now. I seem to remember there being some controversey over almost all of the books we read in Sophomore Honors... I hope they're still a part of the curriculum!

Our class was very sad when Mrs. H changed schools mid-year. I honestly can't remember who we had second semester... which is strange, because Sophomore year was a fairly memorable year (qualifying for the state competition on speech team, getting the lead in a play, dating a total jerk of a first boyfriend, the International Relations class that I loved-- another reason I like to write, winning an award in Model UN at Harvard, almost failing Chemistry, almost crashing in driver's ed... geez. high school.).

/end:flashback

Post Script: We lost power last night (Friday) for about five hours, which is why this is posted on Saturday.

Post-Post Script: Berkeley said "no." But I'm definitley more than okay with that. I guess I won't be living on the West Coast for another 6-8 years or so :-) ah, life.

Post-Post-Post Script: Alright. I think I can go ahead and say, since Simon is hiking in Arizona for a week and won't be home to pick up any official letters that are on their way (!)-- Michigan said "yes"!!! •••happy dance•••

Oreos for Breakfast

Ohhh, yeah. Hey, it's Mardi Gras. And since I'm giving up processed sugar for Lent in solidarity with my Catholic and Evangelical students... I get Oreos for breakfast today.

And I'm working on a paper.

Hence the short blog to say: I'm alive. I'm still working. I'm currently watching the sun rise outside of my window (oh, I have a new room-- pictures later) as I write about the representation of the subaltern in Latin American literature, namely in Hombres de maíz and I, Rigoberta Menchú, an Indian Woman in Guatemala.

More interesting than it probably sounds, I swear.

And thus, I continue. Oreo package number 2, on its way.

Día de Cariño

I've decided that I would have liked Valentine's Day a lot more at home if they had canceled classes like they do in Guatemala. Or at least, in San Mateo Ixtatán.

Yesterday (yes, I am aware that •today• is actually Valentine's Day, but I'll get to that point) classes were canceled in honor of Valentine's Day, so that we could go on a paseo together as a school. Classes weren't canceled today, because the students in sexto magisterio had to go student teach in the elementary school and had their own paseo.

We left the school at about 7:30 in the morning, and walked for 2 hours to "Hit Hop" (I don't know how it's actually spelled, but that's what it sounds like). Hit Hop is a very large (about 3/4 mile in diameter) field surrounded by pine trees. The grass is short and perfect for playing soccer, and the field was divided in parts by large rocks/boulders that stuck up from the ground.

Basically, kids goofed around and played games until lunch. And threw pica pica, or confetti, in each others' hair.

And in my hair.

But they didn't just •throw• it, mind you, they took big handfuls of it and •ground• it into your •scalp•. Awesome.

They'd also get their hands wet, cover them in glitter, and smear glitter on your face and in your hair.

I seemed to be a favorite target-- I wasn't sure at first whether to be flattered or pissed.

I was flattered. I shreeked and chased them and took my own handfuls of pica pica and ground it in to their little scalps. It was fun. At one point, a group of girls from cuarto magisterio tackled me, camera and all, to the ground and all threw big handfuls of glitter and confetti on me, until everyone gave up in giggles.

Notice the guilty hands in the background of this picture :-)

I was •starving• by the time lunch rolled around-- we hadn't brought any snacks, and between the glitter/confetti-ing and the sun... whew. My bloodsugar was non-existant.

Thankfully, lunch was delicious fried chicken, black beans, chicken-flavored rice, and ample tortillas. And soda in glass bottles, (aka: "agua" har har) of course.

After devouring the food, we began the "secret gift exchange." This had been planned a week in advance, so we all knew who to buy gifts for. The rule was, you couldn't spend more than 10Q. (about $1.50). To pick secret friends, we drew names out of a hat. All students and teachers included.

I bought 5 mini snickers, a bag of peanuts, a bag of corn balls, and a bag of pica pica for Enrique in quinto magisterio. And wrapped it up in a piece of red tissue paper with a BIG PINK HEART. hee hee.

The gift exchange was a long, drawn-out, and chaotic production. About par for the course.

A volunteer began by standing up and describing their "amigo secreto." Then, the amigo secreto would have to come up and take the gift, and repeat the description of their own "amigo secreto." Yes, it makes sense, but the system would break down when someone received a gift but forgot to bring one to give, gave a gift to someone who had already given theirs away, or left early and was not there to claim their gift. A lot of people, after having received and then given away their gift, would just walk away or start goofing off and distracting other students.

As I waited for my secret amigo to announce my name... I watched my legs slowly get sunburned. Yeowch.

My secret amiga was María from segundo básico... one of the toughest basquet players around :-) She bought me a "say it with roses/ i love you bear-with-flowers" (yes, it was labeled in English :-)) and a rosary. A very sweet gift!

A lot of the kids really went all-out for the gift exchange. I mean, nice wrapping paper and everything! The stores around town have been stocking heart-themed tschochky for a couple of weeks. Everything from plastic flowers to plastic hearts to plastic bears and random molded plastic shapes that say "I Love You" or "Día de Cariño." Everything sells for between 10 and 30 quetzales. Candy unfortunately didn't seem to be such a popular gift... sad day.

After the gift exchange, we rounded up and headed home.

Except..... the once-pristine field that we had walked to in the morning was now covered with garbage. And I do mean •covered•.

Plastic bottles, bottle caps, wrapping paper, plastic pica pica bags, pica pica itself, food scraps, chip bags, candy wrappers, boxes. Lots of plastic bottles.

The solution? Throw everything into one of the natural sink-holes in the field and burn it. Well... almost everything. Somehow the organic materials, the one •safe• thing to burn, were left out. And only a small portion of the total garbage amount ever made it in to the fire in the first place.

And the gringos were able to rescue some of the plastic materials for the trash heap. Awesome (not).

We ended up leaving a large portion of garbage in the field, while Jess and Brian hauled a torn garbage bag full of plastic bottles back to San Mateo, only to be scolded for not leaving it at the field where "the municipal government would pick it up." Yeah, right.

I wonder where we went wrong? Well. For one thing, we did not warn the students ahead of time that they needed to pick up their garbage. Nor did we provide ample garbage bags.

But the interesting thing is, everyone can talk the talk about garbage and waste management. They all know throwing garbage on the ground or on the floor of the classroom leads to too much garbage in the street and a dirty-looking place. But they keep doing it.

Why? Is this the difference between "communication" and "education" that we talked about in Environmental Ed last semester? I think it is. We're "communicating" the correct things to do, we're just not "teaching" the correct things to do.

It was especially interesting that María brought the issue up at the faculty meeting today, pointing out that the "voluntarios" (gringos) were the only ones that stayed behind picking up the garbage. This brought up the issue of trash management in the school in general, which somehow led to a discussion of spitting on the floor, which prompted Julio to say that it is "just part of our culture."

The "just part of our culture" bit was not kindly-received by the well-intentioned gringos present, but I could see his point to a certain extent. Maybe not in regards to leaving a once-pristine field full of garbage (which goes against my personal values to such an extreme that I can't write it off as "cultural relativity"), but definitely in regards to some of the gringo teachers' complaints on how the school and classes are run. I was almost glad Julio finally pointed out that perhaps some of the "improvements" the gringos (myself included) are trying to make (aka: force) are not, in fact, "improvements" at all, but just "how things are here" (this mostly in regards to how classes and disciplinary actions are run).

I also wonder if Julio's "outburst" (with such a laid-back guy, that's as close as we'll get to an "outburst") was perhaps a bit of underlying animosity towards the foreign-managed Foundation? We have to keep in mind that the Foundation is based in the US, is run by US Citizens, and has come here and opened up the first high school in town and changed quite a few things around. Plus, this is the largest number of US volunteers that they've had yet. There is a lot of resentment from other people in town, which resulted in a confrontation once. Even if the compañeros at the school generally like the support of the Foundation (be it monetary or otherwise), there is still the possiblity for underlying resentment of the foreigners trying to change things (and worse, we're gringos, who always seem to want to run the world-- well intentioned or not).

In my personal opinion, I think it would be more of a challenge for all of us volunteering here to change •our• "save-the-world" "our-way-or-the-high-way" "scare tactic and memorization" attitudes to conform more to the laid-back, cancel class for Valentine's Day attitudes of the guatemaltecos.

After all, when a year (or three months, in my case) is up, we're all going to go back to our homes, and the guatemaltecos will stay here in their home, and we'll all get back in to our respective routines. Maybe our students will have learned something useful, maybe they won't have.

The only thing we can really control is what we will take home with us--- how our attitudes and beliefs about how the world "should" work* have changed over the course of our being here this short time.


*(isn't that a joke? "should work"? like there's an absolute right way to do •anything•)
•••

On a very happy side note--- I was accepted by UM's Environmental Justice Master of Science program!!! WOO! Still waiting for responses from the four anthro programs I applied to...

My students are amazing :-)

You have to check out their first 1500 photos: http://flickr.com/photos/fultzie all of them are in the "Fotos Estudiantiles" set.

Yes, some of them are blurry, were unfortunately taken with the camera whose lens is scratched, or have the heads/feet cut off. Some of them also need some cropping (we're learning how to do that this week). But so many of them are amazing!!

I am just blown away by the creativity of these kids... I love seeing how they experiment with composition/location/subject/action/lighting/etc as the week with the cameras goes on!

•yay•

One month down...

Two to go.

I'm not counting down, honestly. I'm just amazed that a month has gone by so quickly! When I got here, and found out I'd be teaching almost 20 hours a week... I thought "how the heck am I going to fill 20 hours a WEEK with my project!" I thought the project itself would only take about 50 hours...

Now I'm thinking, "How am I going to finish in just two more months?!"

Let's re-cap.

Three of the classes have learned how to use digital cameras... just the picture-taking part. They had the cameras for one week, and took some awesome pictures! I'm really excited for this coming week...

The "theme" they're working with is self-portrait/autobiography. So this week we're going to be in the computer lab deciding which of the 2,000 (that's not an exaggeration) pictures they want to use as their self-portrait. Then they'll copy and paste the picture (count on a day to learn that), crop the picture (another day), and type their autobiographies into the blogger software (two days). That's a week in the computer lab right there.

As homework over the weekend, they have to find photos of family members to bring in to class.

The next week, we'll make our family trees and talk about where we are in them (one day), attach photos to the family trees (one day), talk about family history and stories passed on through the generations and discuss how we can learn more about family history (one day), spend a day thinking of questions to ask about family history (one day), and a day practicing the interviews in class (one day).

Over the weekend, they'll conduct interviews with their family members on family history and stories.

Then, a week in the computer lab. I will scan the photos into the computer, so they can copy/paste into a word processing software and make digital versions of their family trees (two days right there). Then they'll type up the interviews (one day), decide what part of the interview they want to use to tell a story (homework and one day), and type their stories (homework and one day).

Then, on to community. They're going to start by drawing a map of their community, just what they think it is (one day). Then we'll talk about different types of community... discussion and reading, maybe (one day). We'll talk about important places in their community, symbolism for the community, etc (one day). We'll talk about people in the community, all of the different sub-communities (one day). We'll plan what pictures we're going to take to represent the community (one day). There's another week.

That's four weeks. We're at March already!

And then a week with the cameras again.

And then another week in the computer lab. We'll edit photos of the community (copy/paste, crop: one day), print photos of the community (one day), physically paste phots onto a photo map of the community (one day), write descriptions of the symbolism of the building/location in the blogger software (two days).

And then a day deciding who we'd like to interview to learn more about history in the community and talking about portraits. A day deciding what questions to ask and talking more about portraits. A day practicing the interviews in class. Two days interviewing and taking portraits of the person we interviewed.

And ANOTHER week in the compu lab... finishing things up! Typing their interviews, going over what's important in the interview to the story they want to tell, editing photos... printing photos and text and arranging them on nice paper for a "gallery" display... oh boy.

I don't even know if we'll get to the "country history" or map unit that I had planned... I guess that's something for the next teacher?!

And all of this is contingent on a few things: 1) the students being able to open email addresses, and then remembering those addresses and their passwords; 2) the internet working; 3) the batteries in the cameras not dying; 4) Henry being able to get print cartridges in Huehue; 5) my hard drive not exploding (I keep getting the message: "Your startup disk is nearing capacity. Please delete some files to continue working.").

Ohh, boy.

Have I mentioned that I like challenges? :-)

Groundhog Day

The cuarto magisterio students have gotten in the habit of insisting each day, to all of the gringo teachers, that today is a "sacred day" and therefore we shouldn't have class. I asked them today why it was a sacred day, and they replied "because we're Mayan!"

I told them that in the United States, today really is a sacred day. Every year on this day, a rodent (I didn't know the word for "groundhog" so I said a "big rat") comes out of his little house. And if the rodent sees his shadow, winter will last for six more weeks. If the rodent doesn't see his shadow, spring will come early.

There were ten seconds of dead silence and they looked at me like I was insane.

And then they asked if they could have class off.

•••

I found a new bike route!

This week I've been focusing on trying to get my own schoolwork done, and therefore have not gotten a single gota (drop) of exercise. Can you say "Lazy Slob"?!

So it was after lunch today and I was staring at my computer screen helplessly trying to figure out what I could say about Rigoberta Menchú that would be new and interesting... And I realized that my introduction was nearly two pages long. The paper is only supposed to be three pages (one page per book that I read for it). Errrr.... break time.

I've been concentrating on trying to "remove myself" for set periods of time, per one of my professors' suggestion, so I can get work done for home without feeling a) guilty b) crazy or c) overwhelmed. I told myself that this week I was allowed to be culture-shocked and eat lots of chocolate and drink lots of coffee to make myself feel better. Next week, all that stops.

I've found that a couple of things help me to remove myself: first of all, switching languages. Spanish is for work, and when I'm writing things for work and planning lessons and talking about work, and English is for home and the work I need to do for home. Although I'm writing my literature papers in Spanish, and the next few books I have to read are in Spanish... perhaps I'll have to find another way to separate things.

Music also helps. I've had Catch-22 on perma-repeat on my ipod since I got here, mostly because that was one of the last CDs I listened to at home, so it puts me in that mindset. Also because I now know all of the words, and can just mindlessly hum along. And the beat is good for typing quickly. Heh.

Biking is very important. Exercise has always helped me to clear my head and think more... "efficiently." I just need to get into a habit again. I made excuses all this week, and the route I had been taking bugged me because it was an out-and-back. I HATE out-and-backs. I can never stay motivated the whole time, be it a ride or a hike or whatever. I need to have a destination if it's an out-and-back, so I can stop and get some coffee or whatever and then recharge my motivation for the ride back! Plus, I had no idea where I was going or for how long. I'd ride for about 45 minutes and decide it had been long enough and geez, I still had to go all the way •back•... yeah, that breeds laziness.

So this new route is a loop. I start out right by the school, which road turns out to hook up with the road I had been taking before, but lets me bypass the town center. I go downhill for about five minutes, turn twice (switchbacks) and then end up going back •up•hill towards Barillas (same route as before, so far).

At the first tienda there's a turn-off. You can either continue steadily and gently uphill towards Barillas, or turn sharply left and head up a steeper hill.

I took the steeper hill today.

OH my goodness.

Yes, I walked. After I bottomed out on my granny gear. My legs are getting soft. Ick.

Halfway up the hill (and past that last tienda) I realized I had left my water bottle sitting on the kitchen counter. It has been hot and sunny all week, and the roads were full of dust flying everywhere. Isn't that always how it works? ;-P

So of course I kept going. Up, up, up. The road was of varying steepness, but I'm sad to say I walked a good portion of it. There's a goal, right?

At the second turn-off I turned left again, because it looked like it went downhill and back towards town. Mental note: it's just as hard to get back on your bike on a steep •down•hill as it is on a steep •up•hill. Duh.

I swung down a little-used dirt road that looked like it might have just been cut not too long ago... and ended up in a little aldea who's name I could not pronounce. It started with a "c"... There was a congregation of women in front of an open-air building, singing and drinking. One of them shouted "venga! venga!" at me ("c'mon! c'mon!").

Up and down some more... more walking because my lungs just couldn't handle it... and suddenly I was at the San Mateo cemetary! And someone was shouting my name!

I ran into some of the cuarto magisterio students. One of them said "hi," but the ones I met later on pretended not to know me (yes, I look like a dork wearing my helmet around here... and who has seen a gringa on a bike? at least I wear capris over the lycra-- that might be bad!).

And all that was left was a nice (read: STEEP) downhill back to the Foundation. In all, it was an hour-long ride... perfect for before classes most days! I could make it a bit longer for my "late" day... so it's two whole hours. Whee!

Suspension

I have mixed feelings about this.

Most days are mixed. The class goes exceedingly well, the kids are happy, I'm happy, the fotos are awesome....

Then the batteries die and segundo is restless and won't stop talking and I want to cry because they don't know what information you can learn from a news article even though we just went over the "who what where when why how" questions and established that we can learn *that* information to answer *those* questions from reading the article!

And then we have a "lunch meeting" and there is Eleazar and Otto from tercero and the other teachers want to suspend them because they're the "instigators of generally obnoxious behavior."

What?! And what, pray tell, will that do to solve the problem? They'll just be instigating obnoxious behavior in the streets then! This is their last year of school! They're smart kids, really smart, and this is the last opportunity they have... they're lucky to even be in eighth grade.

It makes me really depressed.

But which is worse: kicking those two out, even if they're smart, because they're little punks... or letting them stay in class and pick on the three girls in tercero; call them names, poke them, grab them...

The three girls that dressed me up the other day came and talked to me, in whispers, yesterday. Apparently the boys in that class make fun of them in Chu'j, grab them, and poke them when the Gringo teachers aren't looking (and can't understand).

But we didn't suspend them. Fer spoke up, and said that we should do something positive instead... and I don't think Chico really wanted to kick them out, anyway. I tried to speak up, but... I don't know if it's because I'm a girl and I just look "soft" when I don't think that kicking them out does any good... it must be. Because they take Chat seriously, and he and I are at about the same level of Spanish.

And that was it. We didn't talk any more about it. Poor Eleazar looked like he was going to cry... his mom was sitting right behind him, and she doesn't speak Spanish, so Chico would translate into Chu'j what the teachers were saying about her son.

Mostly positive things-- how smart he is, how really he's a leader, and this is an important quality... how he just lacks seriousness.

I wonder what will actually happen-- whether anything actually "positive" will be done.

Otto's parents didn't come.